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Marriage Lives in the Hearts of Children

July 2, AD 2013 10 Comments

Catholic Free Press

Sweet Basil DinerThe two lifelong friends chatted in the booth of the Sweet Basil Diner, with their mothers and siblings, anticipating waffles and chocolate chip Mickey Mouse pancakes.

“What should we name our first born?” They agreed on “Bacon.”

In the years they’d known each other they’d gone from wanting a million babies, to hoping for ten, or six, or four. It wasn’t a fixed number. They just knew they wanted babies, and lots of them. They’d discussed what type of business to run, and had even started to plan a honeymoon. Disney World? Permission from the little girl’s father had been asked, but not yet granted. Someday.

The little boy had called her his “life” for as long as the two could converse. He’d made it known early and had never wavered. Of course by “life” he meant “wife”, but what’s the difference? He’d worried she’d meet someone else, she’d worried whether she could get married sooner than eighteen. And so they had planned, still do plan, and plan to plan some more. How could she find anyone better? No one else in the world has called her his “life” since she was three years old.

It breaks my heart to think that even as I write this sweet little story, there are people who would reel at parents entertaining such a notion. They’re so young! What if they don’t marry? That’s not the point; the point is, they know what marriage is.

Some would say that parents should be teaching them about finishing college and dating enough people, or that having lots of children is selfish on this overpopulated planet. Others would shame the parents for promoting patriarchy and misogyny, teaching a boy to be controlling and a girl to sell herself short so she can be a breeding machine. There are even some who would say that such parents teach these kids a false and bigoted idea of marriage, that there is no inherent difference in a male and female, that marriage is not really about a man and a woman planning to be a father and a mother. Whatever.

No matter what disordered things people say, children know the truth and if that truth is allowed to bloom, they won’t grow up to forget it. Marriage cannot die, for it lives in the hearts of children with mothers and fathers who love them. We don’t always have to win arguments or win court cases. We just have to keep living the truth and teaching it to our children. They’ll take it from there.

Birthday Party

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Hello, and thank you for reading. My name is Stacy Trasancos. I am a wife, mother of seven, and joyful convert to Catholicism. I write from my tiny office in a 100-year-old restored Adirondack mountain lodge that overlooks a small spring-fed lake. Read more about me here. Find me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or contact me by email. God bless you!
  • Lisa Ann Homic

    careers, college, dating, even your parents’ expectations……all temporary. What could be better than a love born from the truly open hearts of childhood, before the materialistic world takes up space in our brains?

  • benedict1

    Oh Stacy! What a heartwarming, Holy tribute to children, marriage life! You are a warrior for Good. Please keep on. We are told to pick up our cross and follow Him. You are carrying yours and it appears, a lot of others, on your strong back. Thank you for this short tribute and song of love. In a darkening world you point to the Light. Deo gratias!

  • Leila Miller

    Stacy, brilliant, beautiful, and absolutely true! How can you say so much in so few words? Thank you!

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  • leogirl87

    I can understand the importance of college. People need to be able to support themselves and their families. There is no guarantee that either parent will live long enough to see their children grow up (cancer, car accidents, etc.), or that nobody will ever get laid off and have a period of unemployment; both parents need an education to fall back on, even if one decides to be a stay-at-home parent.

    But date enough people? Dating is discernment for marriage. If someone is lucky enough to find the person God intends for them at a young age, there is no need to date other people. Dating is not about sleeping around and getting enough “experience” before marriage; the secular world is very confused about the meaning of dating and marriage.

    As for the number of children, that is up to the couple and God to decide. I know families who wanted a lot of children but it just didn’t happen. There is a demographic winter in Europe and North America, meaning we are not replacing ourselves. Some people will never be able to retire because the work force will be too small to support all those retired baby boomers. More children can be a good thing, especially from good, Christian homes to share the Gospel to the world that has a distorted idea of who Jesus is.

  • Catholic Grammie

    Stacy, this is precious! I think we all have stories like this that we can tell from our past or about our children – you have just expressed it so beautifully – and, if nothing else, these two have a beautiful friendship that should last a lifetime! :)

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